By Barbara Alpern Engel, Anastasia Posadskaya-Vanderbeck
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Additional info for A Revolution of Their Own: Voices of Women in Soviet History
He was always promising to stop drinking. Moreover, he was kind. He was a good person, and in his own way, considerate. I kept waiting for him to stop drinking. He would say, I’ll stop! I’ll stop! And I believed him. Then I got pregnant very quickly. It just happened, and I didn’t even think about getting an abortion. I did have two abortions—only that was later, when I was with my other husbands. Moreover, in one case I got blood poisoning because it was a back-alley abortion. Did this happen when abortions were illegal?
Deep down . . I believed. And your first husband—most likely he wasn’t a believer, was he? No, of course not. And I didn’t give him the slightest reason to think that I was a believer. I never once prayed in his presence. My last husband belonged to the party, and he wasn’t a believer either. And sometimes he would even curse. By this time, I had become more open about my faith. Let’s say I was going to church to pray. He would say: “So you’re going there. ” Just like that. When you got married for the first time, who in the family decided how the money would be spent?
This is the word that all of our narrators used in referring to the terror of the 1930s. ” The “illegal” has been dropped in popular usage, but the relatively mild term “repression” has evidently remained in circulation. qxd 10/24/00 3:25 PM Page 36 36 A N N A A K I M O V N A D U B O VA You mean, if you were arrested? Yes, I was afraid that I would be raped, if I were put in prison. And were you afraid of this because you thought that this might in fact happen to you? Yes, of course. I had heard about this before, because I had an uncle, my mother’s brother, who had served time in prison.
A Revolution of Their Own: Voices of Women in Soviet History by Barbara Alpern Engel, Anastasia Posadskaya-Vanderbeck